The government makes money off people like me. Not the ordinary "income tax" sort of money-making schemes, but the "I know there's no way in hell that you would know the minute details of the DMV and how they relate to various aspects of the owning and the operation of a motor vehicle, but we're going to fine you just for the hell of it". Actually, they're attempting to fine me. It'll be a cold day in hell when I pay them the money that they want, however. Well, not without a fight. Not so much a Waco Branch Davidian sort of fight, but at least an exchange of words...an airing of grievances, if you will...in the spirit of Festivus perhaps...

The thing is, I'm more hurt by all of this really. In my entire history with working cooperatively with the Department of Motor Vehicles, I've never had a quarrel with their procedures and guidelines. Whether it's the hassle that comes along with waiting in the well-known long lines to renew a license or the brutal driving test administered by Sue Benton, I've put up with the bullshit. But this new parlor trick is just inexcusable. It just reveals even more the depths, rather shallowness, of this branch of our government. Rather, the government of perhaps the worst state in the entire Union.

It's all some paper-pushing game to these folks. Psychological torment of sorts. Sue Benton was their Weapon X back in the mid 1990s. I handled my first road test well enough to pass on my first attempt, but for some reason, she failed to pass me. On my next attempt (roughly two weeks later), I arrived again to face off with this Grendel to my Beowulf. Only this time, I had an ace up my sleeve...uh...like Gambit! And was it ever charged with explosive energy. Who would have thought that just showing up with a police officer would ensure that one was a safe driver? Not only was her demeanor more friendly, but she took me down the "easy path" rather than through the city/traffic. Instead of having to deal with left turns at seemingly major intersections, I was tackling a two-lane road (can it be considered two lanes if there is no center line?) sandwiched between cornfields and blue sky. I saw no other automobiles during this second attempt at a driver's license. I could have taken a half hour when pulling off my three-point turn (my favorite of all the driving maneuvers, I might add).

The test, in total, lasted maybe ten minutes, and that's including the parallel parking. Hell, I think I even tanked that part of the exam.

Nevertheless, I earned my license.

The lesson here isn't that "it's not what you know, it's who you know". It's that the government is all apart of this grand game. Behind the facade of "making sure the nation runs smoothly", the powers that be are really just looking to pound us, the citizens, into submission and to make money in the process, just to spend it on something as incredibly stupid as a meaninglessly long war in the desert.

Usually, I can stomach the bad (lack of universal health care, the disgusting distribution of wealth among the classes, etc.) with the good. But this time, to coin an 80's tagline, it's personal...

When the government attempts to punish the innocent using the ways of the con-artist, something has to be done.

Of course, I am just one man, and an overly polite man at that, so I'm fucked.

They've got me on my back..."like a turtle"...

Blah...